May you NEVER Throw your Tracks in liquid mud.

[golgotha]

Greetings and felicitations to ALL of my fellow members, Especially the Pantherman you have all helped me maintain my focus during times that I really did not want to live in the reality of my wife's, arduous treatment plan, that while trying to keep a positive attitude, it was all too easy to slip into a less than positive mind-set, easily helped by the jumble in my mind that is depression and anxiety.

So where are we along the path we have to share each day? After a very arduous and frankly frightening series of Chemotherapy cycles, that left her with some frankly horrible side effects, of which sudden total hair loss hit her hard, which as we all know is not described as a Woman's 'crowning glory' and is something she really took care of. Some effects are too horrible to share. On my part such is the my mind, sharing crowded supermarkets however I felt myself, along with all the keeping house, cooking, laundry etc, etc, etc. If only I could afford to employ a batman..........

Our journey doesn't end, as she was operated on by a marvellous surgeon two weeks ago today, meaning that I have had very little free time, with all the caring, housework with all that entails. I admit it has been a bit of a challenge as there have been times that the Black cloud descends and I have felt like just getting the hell out of town, with some feelings that are frankly unwanted as they are trying to lead onto very unhelpful pathways.
So now we have to await the surgeon deciding that healing has reached the point that he will refer her for a course of Radiation. This will mean a round trip of almost 70 miles to another hospital for however many less than a minute of radiation for however many doses she needs. At the completion of this treatment course, we are told that her recovery can start. At this point, they say her recovery will start properly. Then it is 5 years of monitoring her for any reoccurrence of the cancer.
In a complete coincidence her youngest sister (50 yrs) has just been diagnosed with a different form of breast cancer and has to have a bi-lateral mastectomy, while my wife was fortunate in only needing a Lumpectomy, with removal of some tissue, then Reconstruction during the procedure.

Having bored you all in explaining why I have been absent and not taking part in our community of like minded military modellers. However I have been popping by and seeing what has been being built on the many different work benches, some Immaculate, some, well lived in.
I have seen some great builds, Pantherman you have been busy as I see another Panzerwaffe Feline has appeared in a conventional German cammo job along with a developing crew of reprobates. A Stuka looks like a really great result. That's only 2, but there are many others being displayed across such a wide area of the varied themes that are enjoyed by us.... Oh the Lost in Space and Star Trek builds really caught my eye, as Lost in Space was a favourite TV show I followed when I was growing up and Star Trek still is.

I have not managed to push along a great deal of progress with my Sd.Kfz 251/16 beside progress in weathering the interior in stages. I have felt either so tired or disinclined to do anything, despite sitting at my workbench. That can be therapeutic in itself, sorting my paints, tools, spares boxes etc etc.

The colour matching question today in matching Tamiya to another company, there is a fabulous app I found that offers colour Conversions and so much more, as you dig into it and you are NOT Under continuous pressure to buy the paid version. One of its greatest uses is a massive database of paint colours, by company which you can inventory and record your paint. It is called 'Brushrage' for Android and found on the Google App Store.

Now my reason for sharing is to wish everybody a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year, with a hope that everybody finds some inner peace and joy, as our world is such a challenging place as we approach 2023.

Have a great time and I look forward to hooking up and enjoying the fun and friendship that is Scale Model Addict and a little more good natured verbal jousting with my 'Pink' friend and chipping in with any assistance I can render.

Cheers I raise my virtual glass of 'Uisge Beatha'

John

 

[Pantherman]

Greetings and felicitations to ALL of my fellow members, Especially the Pantherman you have all helped me maintain my focus during times that I really did not want to live in the reality of my wife's, arduous treatment plan, that while trying to keep a positive attitude, it was all too easy to slip into a less than positive mind-set, easily helped by the jumble in my mind that is depression and anxiety.

So where are we along the path we have to share each day? After a very arduous and frankly frightening series of Chemotherapy cycles, that left her with some frankly horrible side effects, of which sudden total hair loss hit her hard, which as we all know is not described as a Woman's 'crowning glory' and is something she really took care of. Some effects are too horrible to share. On my part such is the my mind, sharing crowded supermarkets however I felt myself, along with all the keeping house, cooking, laundry etc, etc, etc. If only I could afford to employ a batman..........

Our journey doesn't end, as she was operated on by a marvellous surgeon two weeks ago today, meaning that I have had very little free time, with all the caring, housework with all that entails. I admit it has been a bit of a challenge as there have been times that the Black cloud descends and I have felt like just getting the hell out of town, with some feelings that are frankly unwanted as they are trying to lead onto very unhelpful pathways.
So now we have to await the surgeon deciding that healing has reached the point that he will refer her for a course of Radiation. This will mean a round trip of almost 70 miles to another hospital for however many less than a minute of radiation for however many doses she needs. At the completion of this treatment course, we are told that her recovery can start. At this point, they say her recovery will start properly. Then it is 5 years of monitoring her for any reoccurrence of the cancer.
In a complete coincidence her youngest sister (50 yrs) has just been diagnosed with a different form of breast cancer and has to have a bi-lateral mastectomy, while my wife was fortunate in only needing a Lumpectomy, with removal of some tissue, then Reconstruction during the procedure.

Having bored you all in explaining why I have been absent and not taking part in our community of like minded military modellers. However I have been popping by and seeing what has been being built on the many different work benches, some Immaculate, some, well lived in.
I have seen some great builds, Pantherman you have been busy as I see another Panzerwaffe Feline has appeared in a conventional German cammo job along with a developing crew of reprobates. A Stuka looks like a really great result. That's only 2, but there are many others being displayed across such a wide area of the varied themes that are enjoyed by us.... Oh the Lost in Space and Star Trek builds really caught my eye, as Lost in Space was a favourite TV show I followed when I was growing up and Star Trek still is.

I have not managed to push along a great deal of progress with my Sd.Kfz 251/16 beside progress in weathering the interior in stages. I have felt either so tired or disinclined to do anything, despite sitting at my workbench. That can be therapeutic in itself, sorting my paints, tools, spares boxes etc etc.

The colour matching question today in matching Tamiya to another company, there is a fabulous app I found that offers colour Conversions and so much more, as you dig into it and you are NOT Under continuous pressure to buy the paid version. One of its greatest uses is a massive database of paint colours, by company which you can inventory and record your paint. It is called 'Brushrage' for Android and found on the Google App Store.

Now my reason for sharing is to wish everybody a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year, with a hope that everybody finds some inner peace and joy, as our world is such a challenging place as we approach 2023.

Have a great time and I look forward to hooking up and enjoying the fun and friendship that is Scale Model Addict and a little more good natured verbal jousting with my 'Pink' friend and chipping in with any assistance I can render.

Cheers I raise my virtual glass of 'Uisge Beatha'

John

Hi John, must admit I was getting a bit worried that we have not heard from you lately. I miss the witty banter alot and I have given you a fair bit of fodder to chew over!

I hope that both you and your wife have a good Xmas and remember that whatever the new year brings, us band of reprobates are here to help if we can.

Looking forward to restarting our little game as your wife recovers and she is getting fed up with bean's on toast for dinner every day, you did say you were doing the cooking right?

Take care, Pantherman

 

[golgotha]

Thanks for your thoughts, however I and one other fought at Swaffham Sec Modern School to be accepted in taking Domestic Science, so my culinary repertoire runs to more than beans on toast, there's Spaghetti on toast, Cheese on toast..... Hmmmmm. Seriously I can turn my hand to good wholesome food and use a cookbook. In truth for my lady the choices are a bit bland to me, as one of the effects of Chemotherapy knocks out 'ALL', fast growing cells in the body, so one area first hit are those on the tongue and lining of the mouth, throat and gullet etc. She finds that her taste has been altered. She has always has a sweet tooth, but throughout the treatment, she finds many sweet foods revolting. This will change as we are told many of these changes will return to a level par.

Funnily enough and I thought it was a sympathy thing, my sense of taste and smell has changed. I mentioned this at a meeting I attended with her oncologist, expecting to get a laugh, to be told that being in close contact, ie sharing a double bed, the patients partner does absorb some of the Chemotherapy agents as they are leeched in her sweat, Tears etc as they spread systemically through her whole body. So no I was not imagining changes to things like my taste and smell senses.

I just cook her what she asks for and have encouraged her to eat and drink, making no comment as to her choices of menu. She has lostweight and needs the energy to heal and fight. I do my best and have been told I am doing a good job by her oncology team, who they say meet many men who need help to do much of the care, as they either don't have a clue and need lots of support in keeping on top of things. The Army at least teaches you to be able to clean house, do washing and drive an iron across clothing on an ironing board.

It is difficult at times having a mental illness that challenges things like belief in in my confidence. Well from what you have shared her, you have some idea of the issues that can arise at the drop of a hat, that wants to just shut you down.

In some ways her cancer has made me perform when all I want to do is stay under the Duvet, or curl up on the sofa.
Anyway I have been regularly visiting the gang here, but just found it difficult to properly interact.
Wishing you the seasonal greetings and hope the you and yours all have some, joy, fun and peace.

Will catch up as and when able,

Aye'
John

 

[Pantherman]

Thanks for your thoughts, however I and one other fought at Swaffham Sec Modern School to be accepted in taking Domestic Science, so my culinary repertoire runs to more than beans on toast, there's Spaghetti on toast, Cheese on toast..... Hmmmmm. Seriously I can turn my hand to good wholesome food and use a cookbook. In truth for my lady the choices are a bit bland to me, as one of the effects of Chemotherapy knocks out 'ALL', fast growing cells in the body, so one area first hit are those on the tongue and lining of the mouth, throat and gullet etc. She finds that her taste has been altered. She has always has a sweet tooth, but throughout the treatment, she finds many sweet foods revolting. This will change as we are told many of these changes will return to a level par.

Funnily enough and I thought it was a sympathy thing, my sense of taste and smell has changed. I mentioned this at a meeting I attended with her oncologist, expecting to get a laugh, to be told that being in close contact, ie sharing a double bed, the patients partner does absorb some of the Chemotherapy agents as they are leeched in her sweat, Tears etc as they spread systemically through her whole body. So no I was not imagining changes to things like my taste and smell senses.

I just cook her what she asks for and have encouraged her to eat and drink, making no comment as to her choices of menu. She has lostweight and needs the energy to heal and fight. I do my best and have been told I am doing a good job by her oncology team, who they say meet many men who need help to do much of the care, as they either don't have a clue and need lots of support in keeping on top of things. The Army at least teaches you to be able to clean house, do washing and drive an iron across clothing on an ironing board.

It is difficult at times having a mental illness that challenges things like belief in in my confidence. Well from what you have shared her, you have some idea of the issues that can arise at the drop of a hat, that wants to just shut you down.

In some ways her cancer has made me perform when all I want to do is stay under the Duvet, or curl up on the sofa.
Anyway I have been regularly visiting the gang here, but just found it difficult to properly interact.
Wishing you the seasonal greetings and hope the you and yours all have some, joy, fun and peace.

Will catch up as and when able,

Aye'
John

John, my sister in law had a nasty cancer 3 years ago and has been where you wife is, she is in remission and doing well so it's possible to get back to a certain level of normality. I remember her saying about losing her taste for everything and she said curry tastes the same as cornflakes. She did find lemon flavour fisherman's friends sparked a taste and became quite addicted to them.

I'm glad to hear you're a blossoming Heston, I also did my spell of dom science at wymondham secondary modern!! I also became chief cook and bottle washer Sept 2021 when my wife returned from 3 mths in hospital having very, very nearly not returned at all. So xmas turkey dinner today doesn't phase me, quite enjoying it. Alot like the modeling it's just process and timing.

Well my friend, take care and prepare for more parie and riposte in the new year.
Pantherman

 

[golgotha]

John, my sister in law had a nasty cancer 3 years ago and has been where you wife is, she is in remission and doing well so it's possible to get back to a certain level of normality. I remember her saying about losing her taste for everything and she said curry tastes the same as cornflakes. She did find lemon flavour fisherman's friends sparked a taste and became quite addicted to them.

I'm glad to hear you're a blossoming Heston, I also did my spell of dom science at wymondham secondary modern!! I also became chief cook and bottle washer Sept 2021 when my wife returned from 3 mths in hospital having very, very nearly not returned at all. So xmas turkey dinner today doesn't phase me, quite enjoying it. Alot like the modeling it's just process and timing.

Well my friend, take care and prepare for more parie and riposte in the new year.
Pantherman

Good Gracious, Wymondham is known to me as I used to be seconded to the Stonham Housing Project, from my usual housing project.

Wishing you and yours a marvellous and joy filled day. Oh for my wife she found tinned pineapple chunks to help her mouth.

Aye'

 

[GaryG64]

Any serious ailment that strikes our better half can be daunting — affecting friends and families. I pray that your wife will continue to improve.
I understand what you are going through in your day-to-day. I had similar dealings with my first wife. I felt helpless not being able to take away her pain and sickness I wanted to trade places with her.
She didn't have cancer she had a form of diabetes that her family moved from Nottingham to Houston Texas for better care when she was 5 on the advice of the doctors in GB
We met in 1993 and by '95 I became an armchair gastroenterologist.
She and I became an almost permanent resident of the Texas Medical Center — Visiting hours did not apply to me.
It was very frustrating but at the same time it made us stronger.
In '96 I was in the Gulf when I got the call, she was 25.
Now it's 2022 and in a week it will be 2023. I've been remarried with 2 girls, one in college and the other not far behind.

you and your wife are in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[Pantherman]

Greetings and felicitations to ALL of my fellow members, Especially the Pantherman you have all helped me maintain my focus during times that I really did not want to live in the reality of my wife's, arduous treatment plan, that while trying to keep a positive attitude, it was all too easy to slip into a less than positive mind-set, easily helped by the jumble in my mind that is depression and anxiety.

So where are we along the path we have to share each day? After a very arduous and frankly frightening series of Chemotherapy cycles, that left her with some frankly horrible side effects, of which sudden total hair loss hit her hard, which as we all know is not described as a Woman's 'crowning glory' and is something she really took care of. Some effects are too horrible to share. On my part such is the my mind, sharing crowded supermarkets however I felt myself, along with all the keeping house, cooking, laundry etc, etc, etc. If only I could afford to employ a batman..........

Our journey doesn't end, as she was operated on by a marvellous surgeon two weeks ago today, meaning that I have had very little free time, with all the caring, housework with all that entails. I admit it has been a bit of a challenge as there have been times that the Black cloud descends and I have felt like just getting the hell out of town, with some feelings that are frankly unwanted as they are trying to lead onto very unhelpful pathways.
So now we have to await the surgeon deciding that healing has reached the point that he will refer her for a course of Radiation. This will mean a round trip of almost 70 miles to another hospital for however many less than a minute of radiation for however many doses she needs. At the completion of this treatment course, we are told that her recovery can start. At this point, they say her recovery will start properly. Then it is 5 years of monitoring her for any reoccurrence of the cancer.
In a complete coincidence her youngest sister (50 yrs) has just been diagnosed with a different form of breast cancer and has to have a bi-lateral mastectomy, while my wife was fortunate in only needing a Lumpectomy, with removal of some tissue, then Reconstruction during the procedure.

Having bored you all in explaining why I have been absent and not taking part in our community of like minded military modellers. However I have been popping by and seeing what has been being built on the many different work benches, some Immaculate, some, well lived in.
I have seen some great builds, Pantherman you have been busy as I see another Panzerwaffe Feline has appeared in a conventional German cammo job along with a developing crew of reprobates. A Stuka looks like a really great result. That's only 2, but there are many others being displayed across such a wide area of the varied themes that are enjoyed by us.... Oh the Lost in Space and Star Trek builds really caught my eye, as Lost in Space was a favourite TV show I followed when I was growing up and Star Trek still is.

I have not managed to push along a great deal of progress with my Sd.Kfz 251/16 beside progress in weathering the interior in stages. I have felt either so tired or disinclined to do anything, despite sitting at my workbench. That can be therapeutic in itself, sorting my paints, tools, spares boxes etc etc.

The colour matching question today in matching Tamiya to another company, there is a fabulous app I found that offers colour Conversions and so much more, as you dig into it and you are NOT Under continuous pressure to buy the paid version. One of its greatest uses is a massive database of paint colours, by company which you can inventory and record your paint. It is called 'Brushrage' for Android and found on the Google App Store.

Now my reason for sharing is to wish everybody a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year, with a hope that everybody finds some inner peace and joy, as our world is such a challenging place as we approach 2023.

Have a great time and I look forward to hooking up and enjoying the fun and friendship that is Scale Model Addict and a little more good natured verbal jousting with my 'Pink' friend and chipping in with any assistance I can render.

Cheers I raise my virtual glass of 'Uisge Beatha'

John

Hi John, just wondering how you are doing these days. I'm missing your whitty banter. Hope all is well with you and yours.
Take care my friend.
Pantherman

 

[blakeh1]

Sorry you are going through so much.

It is a huge burden for both of you and hopefully things will get better

 

[GaryG64]

I wish we lived closer, instead of opposite sides of the globe. Or those of us here on this forum who know your situation lived nearby to help you and your wife out.
I know how hard it is mentally, emotionally and physically day to day, night to night.
Even though as hard as it is and even though there is physical distance between us we are here for you.

Brothers from a different mother.
Gary