Im done with modeling for awhile

[durangod]

Yep im done for awhile, i was placing the shocks on this bronco and while i was handling the shock the tip melted away and the paint came off, i got pissed and threw the whole freaking model across the room and broke it to pieces. That is not what this hobby is about and i know if it gets to me like that i should not be doing it.
I came here trying to find joy as i have lost it over the years. There is a name for the condition and its called anedonia. I am learning that joy is not something you seek, its something you either feel or dont feel, you have it or you dont. I dont, so i tried different hobbies to try to find it. In my case its not something that medical treatment can help with, i have been down that road and all they try to do is dope me up on more meds which is not what i want or what i need. Me and my Dr. have actualy gotten me off of some meds at my request, now my kidneys are working great again and i did so well this last physical that i can go 6 months without seeing him and he told me i can cancel my kidney Dr as he said my numbers are great again.

I do things to be a good son, i do things to be a good father, i do things to be a good grandfather, i do things to help others, i do things to help myself, but nowhere in that mix is joy for me. So i thought i could find it with a hobby.

Anyway i did not want to get all blah blah blah here. Just wanted to say thanks for your kindness and help along the way. I may be back around someday but at this time i dont know, i just trashed a $50 model so im certainly not happy about that either. Besides i have a long list of outside stuff i need to do now that the mild season is here so ill attack that list.

Best of luck to all and again thanks, your help and kindness are appreciated.
Happy modeling

Dave

 

[BOATMAN]

WELL i dont know you sir as im a newbie on this forum but its a shame when it comes to smashin the model up an a 50 bucks one too not cheap that as yes we all have probs with our models something goin wrong or a bad fit as im finding out building my F 18 SUPER HORNET in 1/32 scale but i wont i hope let it get me that bad to prankin it an i sure hope you feel better towards modelin in the futore as ive had a bout of depresshion but im now out of it so i know how you feel sir
ATB
Chrisb

 

[Scratchbuilder]

OK Dave,
So you lost it with a model and threw it up the wall.... Then followed as you bent down to pick up all those pieces hoping you could at least salvage something from the scrap while muttering "Oh Sh......." like a mantra that modellers have adopted over the decades.... You can hear it from the model plane fliers as they launch their latest creation into the air and realise far too late that they forgot to switch the box back on and they watch in awe as their creation sails off across the busy highway and comes together with the Semi....
Many a day in my model room you can sometimes hear the clang of the tweezers as they hit the radiator either followed before or after with that well known anglo saxon phrase Foff!!! a word known in many languages around the world...
Or you will hear the thud as the number 10A scalpel blade burries itself through the carpet and into the wooden floor board, and then watch me gingerly step near the handle just in case....
I suffer from ptsd in the form that I do not show remorse, I was only diagnosed in 2001, but that is another tale for another day... I can throw a model across the room just because I made a mistake, nothing wrong with the kit, just me allowing the model to annoy me. I knew beforehand that I should put it down and walk away and then come back later and put it in the box and look at something else, but I do not, I used to ignore the warning signs because I did not know what was going on in that department between my ears, now that I do... I still throw the occasional model up the wall, BUT it is a model I knew before I started it that I would not finish it, strange that!!!
I recently started a build of a £200 model of the Antar tractor unit, in all honesty it is a dreadfull kit, but you can make something of it. And so I set to with the rear suspension and axles, all was going well except there was a problem in that the swing mechanism would not attach correctly... Now knowing this manufacturer and having had problems before I accepted the challenge and set to making parts up from tube, and low and behold it all fitted (somewhat) and so I set it up ready for cementing and used about a gallon of c/a to hold it all in the correct stance, and went away to have lunch and watch the news on tv and have a doze... It was when I came back to carry on that I realised I had assembled the suspension correctly but the reason why the fit problem was I had cemented and made parts to fit it the wrong way round!!! Now in trying to dissasemble I lost it and the whole lot ended up kissing the radiator, and the irony is that this was not the first one, this in fact was number 3 of the same vehicle kit...
But here I am, still threatening I am going to build aircraft and still building armour, but slowly learning to PUT IT AWAY!!! when it gives you the finger....
Mike.

 

[durangod]

WELL i dont know you sir as im a newbie on this forum but its a shame when it comes to smashin the model up an a 50 bucks one too not cheap that as yes we all have probs with our models something goin wrong or a bad fit as im finding out building my F 18 SUPER HORNET in 1/32 scale but i wont i hope let it get me that bad to prankin it an i sure hope you feel better towards modelin in the futore as ive had a bout of depresshion but im now out of it so i know how you feel sir
ATB
Chrisb

Thanks, i appreciate that thought, i know its a "me" issue not a hobby issue.

OK Dave,
So you lost it with a model and threw it up the wall.... Then followed as you bent down to pick up all those pieces hoping you could at least salvage something from the scrap while muttering "Oh Sh......." like a mantra that modellers have adopted over the decades.... You can hear it from the model plane fliers as they launch their latest creation into the air and realise far too late that they forgot to switch the box back on and they watch in awe as their creation sails off across the busy highway and comes together with the Semi....
Many a day in my model room you can sometimes hear the clang of the tweezers as they hit the radiator either followed before or after with that well known anglo saxon phrase Foff!!! a word known in many languages around the world...
Or you will hear the thud as the number 10A scalpel blade burries itself through the carpet and into the wooden floor board, and then watch me gingerly step near the handle just in case....
I suffer from ptsd in the form that I do not show remorse, I was only diagnosed in 2001, but that is another tale for another day... I can throw a model across the room just because I made a mistake, nothing wrong with the kit, just me allowing the model to annoy me. I knew beforehand that I should put it down and walk away and then come back later and put it in the box and look at something else, but I do not, I used to ignore the warning signs because I did not know what was going on in that department between my ears, now that I do... I still throw the occasional model up the wall, BUT it is a model I knew before I started it that I would not finish it, strange that!!!
I recently started a build of a £200 model of the Antar tractor unit, in all honesty it is a dreadfull kit, but you can make something of it. And so I set to with the rear suspension and axles, all was going well except there was a problem in that the swing mechanism would not attach correctly... Now knowing this manufacturer and having had problems before I accepted the challenge and set to making parts up from tube, and low and behold it all fitted (somewhat) and so I set it up ready for cementing and used about a gallon of c/a to hold it all in the correct stance, and went away to have lunch and watch the news on tv and have a doze... It was when I came back to carry on that I realised I had assembled the suspension correctly but the reason why the fit problem was I had cemented and made parts to fit it the wrong way round!!! Now in trying to dissasemble I lost it and the whole lot ended up kissing the radiator, and the irony is that this was not the first one, this in fact was number 3 of the same vehicle kit...
But here I am, still threatening I am going to build aircraft and still building armour, but slowly learning to PUT IT AWAY!!! when it gives you the finger....
Mike.

I too should know better, the last time i tossed something like that was a radio when i was a very young man and yes picking up the pieces now that i no longer had any music to listen to anymore taught me back then there are consequences for hissy fits. So i made it all the way to 60 before doing it again and i suppose i have to relearn that lesson again.

I was thinking the exact same thing that i should put it away about 5 min before i tossed it. I too have PTSD, mine is in the form of confrontation. I am as cool as a cucumber until confrontation and then i become another person and very aggressive. That along with my TBI is a mix i dont wish on anyone. But i try very hard not to use those as a crutch or an excuse, it is what it is, but i do have to acknowlege that they exist. This is why i try to stay to myself because i know the only reason i am able to function as well as i do is because i have eliminated much of the stress of living. I dont know where i would be if i still had to deal with the stresses that everyone else has to deal with. I would probably be in jail or worse. I had no clue about my PTSD until i had a confrontation with someone last year and it was not pretty. No blood was spilled and noone got hurt thankfully but it shocked and scared me how aggressively i reacted and im sure they wont be doing that again. So i saw someone about it and i was diagnosed with PTSD as well. I do whatever i can to avoid those situations and walk away when i can, especially since i conceal carry. I am not worried that i may shoot someone wrongfully, but i am worried i might beat the living crap out of them if they toy with me lol

We all have battle scars and i know that everyone has some kind of battle they are facing that they tell noone about. Im pretty sure ill give it another go im just not sure when.

Those that battle with depression, PTSD, TBI and other serious issues have my prayers and thoughts, keep fighting...

 

[dave]

Get yourself a rod and line get out get some fresh air watch some nature take a buddy a flask of coffee

I dont now get out as much as I'd like to due to bone on bone arthritis in both knee's but when your son whispers behind you dad and your confronted with this all your stress just fades away. Dave

 

[blakeh1]

Hopefully you will not write off the hobby all together

Things ebb and flow. I find times where I lost interest for whatever reason, but taking a break from the hobby is something that is good now and again.

You may find a renewed interest again after time goes by.

The best thing about this hobby is it is nothing something you must do all the time, but rather something you do when you feel the itch

I know it can also be stressful trying to have everything perfect in this hobby.
If your not having fun, but still enjoy any part of the hobby, you could try something less stressful like a pre-paint snap kit.

 

[scottie]

Take some time out when you feel like coming back we will be waiting.

 

[Scratchbuilder]

Thanks, i appreciate that thought, i know its a "me" issue not a hobby issue.



I too should know better, the last time i tossed something like that was a radio when i was a very young man and yes picking up the pieces now that i no longer had any music to listen to anymore taught me back then there are consequences for hissy fits. So i made it all the way to 60 before doing it again and i suppose i have to relearn that lesson again.

I was thinking the exact same thing that i should put it away about 5 min before i tossed it. I too have PTSD, mine is in the form of confrontation. I am as cool as a cucumber until confrontation and then i become another person and very aggressive. That along with my TBI is a mix i dont wish on anyone. But i try very hard not to use those as a crutch or an excuse, it is what it is, but i do have to acknowlege that they exist. This is why i try to stay to myself because i know the only reason i am able to function as well as i do is because i have eliminated much of the stress of living. I dont know where i would be if i still had to deal with the stresses that everyone else has to deal with. I would probably be in jail or worse. I had no clue about my PTSD until i had a confrontation with someone last year and it was not pretty. No blood was spilled and noone got hurt thankfully but it shocked and scared me how aggressively i reacted and im sure they wont be doing that again. So i saw someone about it and i was diagnosed with PTSD as well. I do whatever i can to avoid those situations and walk away when i can, especially since i conceal carry. I am not worried that i may shoot someone wrongfully, but i am worried i might beat the living crap out of them if they toy with me lol

We all have battle scars and i know that everyone has some kind of battle they are facing that they tell noone about. Im pretty sure ill give it another go im just not sure when.

Those that battle with depression, PTSD, TBI and other serious issues have my prayers and thoughts, keep fighting...

Yes, well I found out when the physciatrist wanted to know what buttons he needed to press to get any reaction - he pressed the buttons and his larynx has recovered, but he needed a new filing cabinet...
But this is a funny old hobby, some days you just sail along and all is well with the world - on another day murder could be committed.
Have a few days off, have a wander through your collection of kits yet to be built, take down a box or two and just look inside and before long you will hit on a kit that is screaming to be built...
I got into a rut with the builds I have put on the forum and things came to a head and a stop with some tracks... I forced myself to complete them and primed them and now they are sitting waiting for more detailed painting, I have another set that I primed today, but in the meantime I looked at a resin conversion kit I have had for a few months - am I building it, no! but I am scratchbuilding it and once it is finished I will put the build on here and I do not want the 'pressure' of providing regular updates so I can start and stop as I want.

 

[kevin]

But this is a funny old hobby, some days you just sail along and all is well with the world - on another day murder could be committed.

Well said, I completely understand and agree.

durangod, take a step back from building, and I would encourage you to stay in touch here on the forum. This place is more than just making models.

 

[BlackSheepTwoOneFour]

A few of my model kits have met the flak hammer, tossed, and one case accidentally dropped and stepped on it. Most of the time it's my mojo going to crap. I lose focus. It happens. Take a breather away for awhile.

 

[JOHN R]

Sorry to read of your problems
As the others have said we will be here so have a break and take it easy .
John .

 

[Edbert]

Most modelers say they have done similar, or "colonized" a kit before. I've not done it yet, but I have an entire list of kits that I have locked away out of frustration and will probably never finish.

But other people are right, if the process does not bring joy, or some other form of positivity, step away. The same is true for any part of your life in my opinion. I do not make these for joy, I make them out of a desire for the "next" build to be better then the previous, I also get a sense of clam and relaxation from forcing myself (or trying) to slow down and enjoy things.

I still get highly frustrated, but as soon as I feel that coming on I put whatever I was working on away and do something different.

 

[dave]

I agree with Mike you either sail along with a fair wind in your sails or you end up wanting to jump overboard ,and as for starting a build/blog you feel committed and if its not going to plan its even worse because of the committed feeling. The little 1/72 Churchill im building at the moment I hate its guts but although no one would care if it was left where I've got to it does give you a sense of failure.
Dave the biggest get out in this hobby is to compare your own work to other peoples ,I admire other peoples work and draw a lot of inspiration from it but thats all as long as what I've done is the best I've felt I've done with what I've built then my own self satisfaction is good enough. Dave

 

[durangod]

This place is more than just making models.

Yes i agree and i apologize if i in any way was interpreted otherwise by my post. I dont often think of the social aspect but that does not mean its not part of the forum activity.

Yesterday at the store i bought some brass 28 guage bare wire, so i guess i still have alittle hobby seed growing. Thank you all for your understanding and replies. I will be watching an learning while on my break from building.

 

[BlackSheepTwoOneFour]

Put away in the Shelf of Doom. Come back whenever you want. No rush. I've got one.

 

[TimM63]

A few of my models have met the business end of my flackhammer out of frustration. It's usually not the models fault, it's my own lack of patience sometimes.
I just pick up the pieces, throw them in the bin and break out a fresh kit of a different genre.
It happens and it's nothing to be ashamed of, you just keep on keeping on.

 

[Jim62]

I am sorry to hear of your physical issues. I will keep you in my prayers in hope that your ailments subside and you can stay off those unhealthy medications for the rest of your life while find peace and joy in the things you do. I have trashed many models, as I know most of us have likely done. Don't let it destroy your joy. The bad side of this hobby for me is it sometimes causes me to utter words I don't like coming out of my mouth. When I first started back in this hobby it was all about doing things as accurately as possible, I guess because it seemed to be the trend, and it eventually became a drag and created stress. So I stepped back and told myself, hey, I don't do model shows or go to a model club where these things are judged by others, I am simply building a small personal museum of aircraft and I just focused on doing what makes me happy with the build. That stress faded quickly after that. The only folks that see them are me, my wife, and folks on here when I post photos. Now I don't stress over the little things, life is too short for that. Mistakes can be fixed and moved on from. Peace be with you brother and come back soon.

 

[BOATMAN]

I am sorry to hear of your physical issues. I will keep you in my prayers in hope that your ailments subside and you can stay off those unhealthy medications for the rest of your life while find peace and joy in the things you do. I have trashed many models, as I know most of us have likely done. Don't let it destroy your joy. The bad side of this hobby for me is it sometimes causes me to utter words I don't like coming out of my mouth. When I first started back in this hobby it was all about doing things as accurately as possible, I guess because it seemed to be the trend, and it eventually became a drag and created stress. So I stepped back and told myself, hey, I don't do model shows or go to a model club where these things are judged by others, I am simply building a small personal museum of aircraft and I just focused on doing what makes me happy with the build. That stress faded quickly after that. The only folks that see them are me, my wife, and folks on here when I post photos. Now I don't stress over the little things, life is too short for that. Mistakes can be fixed and moved on from. Peace be with you brother and come back soon.

HI Jim 62 yes what you are sayin in your post is spot on i used to worry like heck about if i had everything correct on a model an yes i do take my models to shows but all ive had is very nice coments an loads of accolades an trophyies ive only ever had one person comment on one of my big ships sayin that i had the crew figures in the wrong clothing an he said we wear whites on his ship what was docked at malta where its hot an i told him that my ship is sailning into the solent towards portsmouth where its cold so they had cold whearther gear on AN HE SHUT UP STRAIGHT AWAY AN WAIKED OFF SO now i dont worry an this was over a 40 yr period so i enjoy the modelin an dont worry anymore an im a newbie to this site but i hope to make lots of freinds on here
ATB SIR
chrisb

 

[BlackSheepTwoOneFour]

I love your attitude. Good on you to shut his mouth at a show. Sometimes these blowhard judges needs to be put in its place. I've gone to numerous shows and seen a lot of great entires from master builders to junior builders. All great builds.

 

[mark2]

As far as accuracy my research goes as far as making sure the box that says spitfire on it is a spitfire and not a 1997 toyota camry!