Building Kits to get away from Life Events

[OldManModeler]

So, lately, my better half and I have had some disputes. It's always about money. So, I retreat to my shop and build plastic kits or work on the tractor or Jeeps... or cut firewood... yada yada. There is always maintenance to do on the vehicles and equipment. Or parts to add to the current plastic model build. Escapism.

Let's hear about why, and when, you build kits. Is it to escape. To win awards. To complete a passion. A pastime. A genuine hobby. I am curious to see if I am alone in the escape and pastime part.

My relationship with my wife is great, but hiccups happen. This helped a lot:



Be well. Model on.

Eric

 

[MJY65]

I build airplanes to maintain my connection to aviation. I have a pilot's license, and once owned a Cirrus SR22. I realized I was too busy at my practice and sold the plane before I had an accident and killed myself. Now that I'm retired (60), I feel like I'm too old to get back into it.

 

[OldManModeler]

I build airplanes to maintain my connection to aviation. I have a pilot's license, and once owned a Cirrus SR22. I realized I was too busy at my practice and sold the plane before I had an accident and killed myself. Now that I'm retired (60), I feel like I'm too old to get back into it.

I am not a pilot. But I have friend who flies commercially. He currently flies helicopters for a touring company. He used to fly stunt biplanes at airshows. Lately, he tells me how about one of his pilot friends die a year due to prang.

 

[MJY65]

Those two (along with pipeline and Ag flying) are definitely at the high end of the accident spectrum.

 

[OldManModeler]

Those two (along with pipeline and Ag flying) are definitely at the high end of the accident spectrum.

My friend wants out, but the money is real good. Too good.

 

[BarleyBop]

if I am alone in the escape

... the model making part of town?

 

[Sweet-Chuck]

I'm new to the hobby, only picking it up a month-ish ago. I NEEDED something to do that would be different than staring at my phone, or working. 'The man' gets a lot of my time already. Usually this time of year I exercise pretty regularly, but the space I've done that in is currently......compromised. It's a little hard for me to 'get going' with the modeling sometimes, but once I'm a few minutes into it I find it enjoyable and relaxing to 'nerd out', even though it looks sort of like a grade schoolers work lol. I'm sorry that you and the misses are at odds, Old Man Modeler. You aren't here looking for advice, and I'm certainly not one to give it, but I remind myself of something my friend says: "would you rather be right, or be married?". As someone who grew up not having a voice, getting shut down, and feeling irrelevant, my toxic trait (one of them, anyways) was often having to 'be right' during any type of disagreement or conflict. I hope you have some words of wisdom or other guiding light to help keep you calm and focused.

 

[OldManModeler]

I'm new to the hobby, only picking it up a month-ish ago. I NEEDED something to do that would be different than staring at my phone, or working. 'The man' gets a lot of my time already. Usually this time of year I exercise pretty regularly, but the space I've done that in is currently......compromised. It's a little hard for me to 'get going' with the modeling sometimes, but once I'm a few minutes into it I find it enjoyable and relaxing to 'nerd out', even though it looks sort of like a grade schoolers work lol. I'm sorry that you and the misses are at odds, Old Man Modeler. You aren't here looking for advice, and I'm certainly not one to give it, but I remind myself of something my friend says: "would you rather be right, or be married?". As someone who grew up not having a voice, getting shut down, and feeling irrelevant, my toxic trait (one of them, anyways) was often having to 'be right' during any type of disagreement or conflict. I hope you have some words of wisdom or other guiding light to help keep you calm and focused.

Thank you for that, Chuck,

It's just a hiccup, in a way of stress induced changes coming as she is about to retire. Finally, we can get on with our lives. Retirement means 'old' and some women don't like that 3 letter word. At all.

But building kits in my mancave keeps me away from the her mood swings.

Be well. Model retired.

Eric

 

[Edbert]

I don't know you , or your wife OMM. So my comments are just generalized even if I am replying to your thread.

I've been married once, 33 years within less than a month. Only two kids, but 4 grandkids.

I cannot imagine any relationship of more than a few months that does not have a conflict or two. I think that if anyone says they have it, they are either lying or the cause of the conflict and oblivious to it.

I think they key to any successful relationship is that you each have interests that do not involve the other. If either of you must be entertained 100% of the time by the other, there's no hope. I spent years trying to tell my wife she "needs a hobby" something you do just because you enjoy it. I think having that time alone doing whatever is key to a good mental state (married or not), you cannot spend your entire life trying to provide for, or care for, or entertain others, you will break eventually. My wife enjoys watching those music shows, American Idol or the Voice or whatever. It is pure fingernails on a chalkboard for me, but I don't worry about that because she rolls her eyes when I play with my plastic army men and toy airplanes. Fine. GOOD!

Financial stresses are different, and I have nothing to offer there. I am a few years from retiring, the key to knowing when you can do so depends almost entirely on knowing how long you will live, so there's no way to know. But building a few models a year should not be the cause of financial strain.

There are two life events that statistics show cause a blip in the divorce rates. When the youngest child graduates, and retirtement. Many couples stay together "for the children" and when that is no longer paramount, well...similarly many happy couples enjoy each other's company when it is 4 to 8 hours a day, not 24.

But both of those statistical events can be solved if you each have a hobby!

 

[OldManModeler]

I don't know you , or your wife OMM. So my comments are just generalized even if I am replying to your thread.

I've been married once, 33 years within less than a month. Only two kids, but 4 grandkids.

I cannot imagine any relationship of more than a few months that does not have a conflict or two. I think that if anyone says they have it, they are either lying or the cause of the conflict and oblivious to it.

I think they key to any successful relationship is that you each have interests that do not involve the other. If either of you must be entertained 100% of the time by the other, there's no hope. I spent years trying to tell my wife she "needs a hobby" something you do just because you enjoy it. I think having that time alone doing whatever is key to a good mental state (married or not), you cannot spend your entire life trying to provide for, or care for, or entertain others, you will break eventually. My wife enjoys watching those music shows, American Idol or the Voice or whatever. It is pure fingernails on a chalkboard for me, but I don't worry about that because she rolls her eyes when I play with my plastic army men and toy airplanes. Fine. GOOD!

Financial stresses are different, and I have nothing to offer there. I am a few years from retiring, the key to knowing when you can do so depends almost entirely on knowing how long you will live, so there's no way to know. But building a few models a year should not be the cause of financial strain.

There are two life events that statistics show cause a blip in the divorce rates. When the youngest child graduates, and retirtement. Many couples stay together "for the children" and when that is no longer paramount, well...similarly many happy couples enjoy each other's company when it is 4 to 8 hours a day, not 24.

But both of those statistical events can be solved if you each have a hobby!

Thanks. I started this thread as a vent. Bad form, I know.

My situation isn't any different that most marriages.

Our 'kids' have been out of the house for years. I retired 3 years ago, but still work. Can't stop. We have separate hobbies. She bakes and cooks for friends and family and holds an elected position at her 'club'. I fix everything and work on vehicles and once in a while; I play with plastic model kits.

And there is the retirement issue with women and age consciousness.... yada yada

All you married folks either know what I'm talking about, or you just hopped on the marriage - turnip truck. We will disagree with our better half. Guaranteed.

When I said money issues, it's not what ya'll might think. We aren't poor, or rich. Wife wants (thinks we need) a new RV and I told her that we have to wait until we sell one of our homes after she retires. Or she can dump some stock. It's not like we're starving living in a van and can't pay the rent. And I don't want a another RV anyway, Never again. She can buy what she wants, but don't expect me to agree about it. We have enough vehicles and toys to keep me busy another 60 years with upkeep, It's just stupid. So, it doesn't matter how much a couple has, , or makes. It's how they make use of it wisely and agree to goals. I don't buy a model kit that costs over $100 unless I talk to her first. I have a cache of kits, so why buy another. A $150 model kit does not fit into our goals. Silly, I know. Our goals are the same most of the time.

Vent over. Wifes got dinner ready. Bless her heart.

Be well. Model on.

Eric

 

[papaof2]

I retired 4 years ahead of my wife. Woodworking has been a lifelong pursuit. Took up modeling last year as a way to keep my mind sharp. I don't do big woodworking projects now days and don't venture out to the workshop when it's below 50. Modeling allows me to sit on the sun porch, watch the critters at the bird feeder, listen to Fox business on the TV, and just enjoy my time with SWMBO. She quilts, gardens, cans, bakes and puts up with me. We play pickleball twice a week, a pursuit I highly recommend, and don't say you're too old, we play regularly with a 97 year old Korean war vet. Were usually up around 5 and go till 1-2 and meet at the recliners for reading or internet surfing and a nap. We've been together 50+ years married for 48 and most dustups are my fault, but she still loves me and I her.
Love her, cherish her and treat her like your Queen even on days when she can be trying.